Dad Fashion Tips: What NOT to Wear - 1st Grader Edition

It’s funny how differently our kids know us compared to what we know of ourselves.

Back in the Land Before Time, when I was an all-knowing teenager, I used to be a bit of a clothes horse. (I’ll share how and why that changed another time. Boy! Is that a doozy of a story!) Since that time, I’m not sure I’ve purchased a new outfit for myself since the first Bush was in office. Don’t get me wrong, I buy the  kids new clothes at least a couple of times a year, so I’m not opposed to or “afraid” of picking out clothes or even waiting the 15 minutes it takes for my youngest to pick out and try on a single pair of pants.

It’s a good thing I’ve essentially remained the same 32-34” waist (and with perpetually short legs) for the past decade+! I’ve realized that fashions come and go. I’ve always found that “classy conservative” tends to linger longer or return quicker.  I mean, a good pair of jeans and a classic tee can last into the millennium. It’s the same concept when it comes to sporting a classic cut/color suit, solid (subdued) colored dress shirt, and an understated tie. Sure, you may not be the “Hipster” of yesteryear, but you won’t look like a goof when folks look back at those “selfies” on your Facebook page 5 years from now either.

Remember those funky hairstyles that were “all the rage” and how they look now when you accidentally look back through your yearbook? What’s hot and stylish this year becomes “so 5 minutes ago” by Christmas. And if there remains pictoral evidence after the fact . . . oy! Heaven help ya. Especially if your kids get a hold of them!

Kids have a uniquely unintentional—I think—cutting way of getting our adult (and seemingly secure) attention.

I have a few shirts that have lingered in my closet for quite some time—as in, longer than a single presidency, in fact.  I have one Ralph Lauren shirt in particular that is not as conservative, but still rather classic. It has dark blue, green, and white vertical stripes. (It fits in pretty well at a Garth Brooks concert … wait, Brooks and Dunn … wait, George Strait … okay, okay. It’s definitely out of date.)  

Anyway, I picked my 1^st grader from school sporting my “ever-so-stylish” Polo shirt. In her increasingly fashion savvy 6.5 years of worldly experience, she asked in front of the 30 kids in the classroom, “What KIND of shirt is THAT? A clown shirt?”

I was . . . uh . . . well, uh . . . “Well, honey if you think it’s funny and it makes you smile, then I’m happy.” (Whew! Nice cover!)

Keep in mind, I had worn this shirt to work . . . all day! Without a single critical comment. At least, not to my face.

And, needless to say, my “fashionable” Polo has been relegated to the other end of the closet . . . for now!